self declared state of cooking paralysis

I've tried to write this for a couple a days now very unsuccessfully. First I thought it was because I was trying to type in the middle of watching the World Series, but more matter of factly, its because I have a pulsing right ring finger from a bloody hangnail, those little devils.

Monday morning, I woke up with this vigor and vim that I never wake up with. I spent a good amount of time Sunday scouring the internet for some recipes that looked promising and didn't require more than any ingredients in my fridge. I found this corn chowder recipe and I compared it to another six corn chowder recipes and I decided it won them all out. Sunday night, before going to bed, I started making a loaf of bread. This was definitely under the untried and untested category of recipes (but that doesn't mean much, because i've only made 1 loaf of bread in our entire marriage of 400 something days). This bread recipe was screaming for non-breadmakers to make it. It didn't knead (haha!) to be kneaded. It only had 3 ingredients. And it rises for 12-18 hours. Clearly, how you could someone mess this up? Me, me, pick me! 

So, back to Monday morning. I woke up before the 6:15am alarm sounded (that never happens). I started chopping onions, potatoes, carrots, measuring corn and milk, and viola, in about 30 minutes I had my slow cooker on ready to make all that food into some yummy chowder. I even folded a load of laundry too.

Bronson in all seriousness asked, "Are you okay?" To which I said of course I was fine, well, besides my eyes permanently crying from the onions. Bronson, "No seriously, did I do something wrong? Or did you not sleep well?" Now puzzled, I asked why he would say that. Bronson said, "uhm, you are as dead as a log every morning, so what else am I suppose to think?" Ah, good point. I have no idea, but  I'll say the burst of motivation came from always hearing about those girls who make a crock pot meal before work, and I always wanted to be one of those girls. He nodded, still confused.

I was anxious to get home from work, to unveil my masterpiece creation. We walked in. It smelled really good. I gave a few skirt-curtsies in my mind to the pseudo applauding crowd. Victory!

I cooked some bacon, added that in, and baked my fail-proof bread in a make shift dutch oven (think: sticking a flat cast iron on top of a wider cast iron = FAIL). I dished our bowls of soup and we blessed it. Regardless of how confident I've feeling about my meal that night, its always a good idea to bless Emily's food. I shoveled a large first bite of soup, holding my breath for the sweet delicacy of this corn chowder.... WRONG. I about choked mid-bite as it burned my mouth and throat from the overkill of red pepper spice and black pepper spice I included. Whoops. Each bite was accompanied with three swallows of water. It was THAT bad. I didn't finish half of the first bowl, and Bronson slowly managed to endure three bowls. And to give you some sort of inclination of how he felt about those three bowls he said, "I'm not eating this because its good, I'm eating this because I'm hungry." Fair enough. It was bad.

Feeling daunted and depressed I left the dishes in the sink for three days. I officially declared myself in a state of cooking-paralysis. Case in point, I persuaded Bronson into believing Taco Tuesday at Del Taco was the best idea I've ever had. And Wednesday, I promised there would be samples at Mel's Kitchen Cafe presentation so he should just keep fasting until then. And tonight was buy one get one free at Subway.

I thought I was out of the woods in the horrible, do not resuscitate recipe meals, but not quite yet. Give me five more years, or even fifty.

Halloween at work. Me just being as low key as possible, sporting a BYU shirt. 

Me. Opening my mission call 4 years ago on Halloween 2012!


  1. Hahaha! You can all believe we've been there and done that.....countless times!
    Thanks for the laugh though. You are a good writer!

  2. I feel your pain. I've had unnumbered failures. So proud of you for trying...keep going and soon you'll be like MEL. Like, Meredith, thanks for the laughs.


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