SLIDER

a tragic tale of the dentist + butter

Remember how I so ambitiously set that news year resolution to floss my teeth every night. Well, I was 8 days strong in a row, until after I went to the dentist. Probably because of how much I embarrassed myself.

We show up for our 6 month check-up, I go to the counter to explain I have a new insurance -- I dig around in my purse, and realized, yep, I have been driving the whole day without my wallet. Who knows for how long. Never mind I tell her. After the hygienist who looks like she's 17 (only in Utah), cleans my teeth the dentist comes in, unashamedly humming a Les Miserables song. He pokes and touches my teeth at random. I start laughing.

Dentist: are you laughing at my humming?
Me: Wide grin -- No... I'm just laughing because, well, how the heck do you know where to touch on my teeth? I mean... I know I'm not a dentist, but HOW?
(Me realizing after ALL these times going to the Dentist, i'm just NOW thinking about what the dentist look for?)
Dentist: well, I just look for dark spots on your teeth and then see if they are sticky.
Me: Oh. Okay.

As he finished he starts moving my chair forwards and says, "well, you have no holes in your teeth."
Not hearing correctly, I said, "WHAT? I have holes in my teeth?"
Dentist: No you DON'T have holes in your teeth.
Me: oh thats good, because otherwise that would be a...
Dentist: That'd be a cavity.
Me: (lightbulb moment), Oh.. that makes sense.
Me: Oh that's why they call it a filling!
Me: Well guess what, I set a new years resolution goal to floss my teeth everyday! And I know its January 10th and I should have done it for 10 days, I'm actually only 8 days strong.
Dentist: High Five!

Exit stage left. I mean, Dentist office. We get in the car and I tell Bronson all about the conversation I had with the dentist, he stops me midway and says, "I know, we heard every word from the front lobby."
Me; "You what? Oh no oh no oh no!"
So. 24 years later, I finally understand the true meaning of a cavity -- who knew it could mean the same thing for you teeth as when referred to with a rock. Who knew? (not me! I always just correlated cavity with bad teeth and eating too much sugar).

And secondly, butter. Over Thanksgiving, I experiment putting cupious amounts of butter on my rolls-- and I loved it. Literally. Figuratively. Symbollicaly, everything. No, but seriously I loved it. And while I'm always disappointed in the aisles of Sams club when I just can't get myself to spend $$$ on butter (I mean, come on, it is expensive!) especially compared to Imperial's Margine for 85 cents. Anyways, I come home one night and told Bronson, with a HUGE sigh, "I can't wait for you to have a full time job so we can afford butter." Bronson, turns around, "Oh no... how are we going to afford butter! I mean first its THIS you want and then THIS!" I say this with jest and out of love. But I could not stop laughing. My financial-budget-sticker-husband thought we were going to declare bankruptcy from buying butter. I assured him, "Don't worry, I'll just treat myself to butter on special occassions like holidays, and I'll never give it to the kids who won't appreciate it, i'll just eat it myself." Bronson explained that he never grew up with butter, and sure enough I didn't either, but now I realized how much I missed out on GOODNESS. And no wonder my mom buys the real tillamook butter now, its good.

So, the next day, during my lunch break with the rest of the office ladies I work with (mind you their all 50+ years old), I recount my story of my tragic tale of my lack of butter in my future life.
They died laughing.

The next morning, my coworker brings me in a stick of butter. I cherish it. The morning after that another coworker brings in 4 sticks of butter and I just don't even know what to do. CELEBRATE. I am savoring that butter. I figure if I could ration out to about 1.5 tablespoons of butter a month, I can make this last a year. Which is as long as it will take before Bronson gets a full time job. We are in business people. So if you're wondering what to get me for Christmas or my birthday... take note of this post. (Just kidding, I occasionally like other things besides butter, sometimes).


No comments

Post a Comment

© the gardner place • Theme by Maira G.